Refuge Heart

”[…] God will answer and purvey for them in spirit, that for business about His love list not answer nor purvey for themselves.” - The Cloud Of Unknowing

"When knowledge strikes the heart, it is a friend; when knowledge strikes the body, it is a burden." - Rumi

"But the Lord will be a refuge for his people [….]" - Joel (NIV)

Answer for me when I cannot speak.
Sing through me when I can’t but weep.
Walk with me and tell me this path embodies Your love.

   Speak truth into me and
   erase these burdensome lies.

See for me as I crouch and cover my eyes.
I’ll count, “1, 2, 3,” and then
   I will run to find You.
Always hidden but never hiding.
Like the air we breathe
   or the wind
and its thousand kisses.

Brokenness and Holiness

My candle holders had accumulated much wax over time; so, I decided to clean them off. In the process I dropped one on the floor and the base shattered.

Sometimes, in the process of cleaning things up, things can fall apart.

I carefully searched for the pieces and swept up the mess. There was still wax on the pieces so I heated them and let it melt away. While trying to glue them back together, I realized the melted wax had formed a thin veneer, making it impossible for the glue to bond.

Our past sticks to us in unforeseeable ways, sometimes making it hard to fix what was broken.

I took out some sandpaper and roughed up the broken edges. I used rubbing alcohol to wash the particulate wax away. The edges became rough to the touch.

Sometimes part of the process is becoming a little rough around the edges. It’s the only way things will stick.

I carefully applied glue to both the main and the first broken piece. I held them together by hand. I patiently waited for the glue to bond. I gave it three times as long as the directions indicated.

Give broken parts space and time to heal and bond. Be gentle and patient.

One piece after the next the base came together and stayed. I applied masking tape to the bottom of the holder to give it extra support while the glue finished setting up.

There are visible cracks, but it is whole again.

Which candle holder is better? 
The one which remained whole or the one with scars?

They are equal in my eyes. Each candle holder can hold a light.
The one that remained whole should not be jealous of the other’s scars.
The scarred one should not be jealous of the other’s holiness.
They are measured by their use.

Neither Holiness nor Brokenness is a virtue. Virtue rests in the light which is carried and shared.

A Spoon’s Might

"A fool may associate with a wise man throughout his life and remain untouched by his wisdom, even as a spoon cannot taste the flavor of soup." -Buddha

"In love’s fresh garden - which is infinite - are many fruits apart from joy and grief." -Rumi

"Ascribe to the Lord, O mighty ones, ascribe to the Lord glory and strength." -Psalm

My might and Your sovereignty.
My might and Your will.
My might and Your definiteness.

Teach me Your right ways.
Lead me step after step,
little by little to Your likeness.

Can I claim I’m lost when I have shut my eyes?
Can I claim deafness when I have covered my ears?

Open the gates of insight within me.
Teach me the love of Your indwelling spirit.

Please mend this broken vessel
find a use for it according to the broken parts.

The Well, The Galloping River

"There is no fire like lust, no vice like hatred, no trap like delusion, and no galloping river like craving." - Buddha

"The evil of the wicked is a well of darkness - all who know have said this much. The worse he is, the more his well is ghastly, for justice has awarded worse for worse." - Rumi

"Once, you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior." - The Apostle Paul

On many occasions I’ve thrown myself headlong into the well of darkness and been a secret enemy of God.
     I know how my faults feed my folly.
     I know how I’ve rejected right ways.
There are still wild and wayward parts of my thoughts and my spirit.
     I still haven’t completely contained my chaos
     - Nor should I.

Father, You’ve led me to this space.
You’ve removed indecision.
You’re moving me into Your will.

     But, I’m still afraid.
     I still have cravings and desires.
     And there is still my pride.

Please redeem and forgive my flaws.
I pray You will use me to create a greater good.

     I am broken. Please fix me.