“I shall bear harsh words, as the elephant in battle endures arrows, for I know that most people behave poorly.” -Buddha
“I said to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.’” -Psalm
Harsh words and acceptance of pleasant boundaries.
I am a pot filled with mercy.
But I can be emptied.
Refill me, Merciful Father, with mercy and grace.
Make me overflow and never run out of kindness for others.
Amen.
“The vigilant, who follow the Way day and night, who are wholly intent upon nirvana, their mental intoxicants come to an end.” -Buddha
“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” -Psalm
Full of distractions.
Avoiding the calm honesty that would light up my many flaws.
Calm honesty brings rain and dark gray clouds.
That great serpent, Loki, worming his way through my inner world.
Destroyer of worlds.
Bringer of life.
There is tremendous tension in the duality.
(Sit and weep beside the untraveled road.)
Avoiding my true and trusted traveling companion.
“Jesus keep me near the cross….”
“Sit alone and sleep alone, walk alone enthusiastically, tame yourself alone. Enjoy the life of seclusion in the forest.” -Buddha
“This craving, this clinging, overpowers the man caught in it and his sorrows multiply, like prarie grass fed by rain.” -Buddha
“Look on me and answer O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death.” -Psalm
Light and shadow.
Craving and contentment.
Suffering and survival.
Will I approach the highest realms free of flaws and passions?
I have sat beside the road wounded and resting.
Leaving myself open to many troubles.
Sitting still when the remedy is action.
“Sin is the cause of great sorrow and care.”
Should I cease this wayfaring and find shelter in those lonely mountains?
(I am a lonely mountain.)
“If, by giving up lesser comforts a greater happiness is to be found, the wise should give up the lesser comforts in view of the greater happiness.” -Buddha
“Give me an answer! If not, give me justice, or else remind me of the means of joy.” -Rumi
“May my vindication come from you; may your eyes see what is right.” -Psalm
I feel lost
confused
desperate
sad
not knowing which way to go
not having faith in a way forward
not believing I have a means to Your grace
questioning what providence looks like
lacking true desires
bereft of ambition
You
seeing all
lead me on a treacherous
heartbreaking path
(But I trust You to
provide
care
protect
love.)
Give me the strength to climb from this deep valley.
Give me clear vision to see my way forward.
Give me the audacity to listen and obey Your voice.
I know I fail.
Over and over I fail.
I’m sorry
for my lack of faith
for my lack of obedience
for disregarding Your call on so many occasions.
Please forgive my
frailty
pride
wavering heart.
I love You
Amen.
“You have no place to rest upon the road nor any preparation for the journey.” -Buddha
“O tongue, you are so hurtful to all mortals.” -Rumi
“All have turned aside, they have together become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one.” -Psalm
Am I Your people or am I not Your people?
Have You turned Your face from me or is this the fullness of Your grace?
This terrible feeling I have -
Is it connected to truth?
Yeah, yeah, “the heart is deceitful and who can know it?”
My experiences are largely imagined.
Words and ideals.
Ideals and actions.
Beliefs and their consequences.
When will I learn to be as accepting as earth and gentle as water?
I am the sputtering fire
and the ash underneath.
Take control of this life and use it for Your will. It’s Yours if You want it.
Amen.
“Wisdom is born from meditation. Not to meditate is loss. Know the difference between gain and loss. Make the choice to walk where wisdom grows.” -Buddha
“The goldsmith’s skill does not go to the blacksmith; the lovely nature’s not for the ill-tempered.” -Rumi
“He who does these things will never be shaken.” -Psalm
Sometimes I feel as if my heart’s been replaced by a lump of cold obsidian.
Dark.
Unmoving.
The result of quickly cooling passions.
I’ve been feeling absolutely terrible.
Sorrow and suffering.
Anger.
A response to disappointment.
A sense of helplessness.
“How much longer shall I languish?”
Years pass since I finished In Terra.
Father, my heart is troubled and I’m unsettled.
I need Your hand to heal and direct me.
I’m not doing well at life right now.
I’m not present in my life.
Thank You for Your providence, love and grace.
Please take my meager gifts and use them.
Amen.
“As a diamond bores a softer gem, so does the evil committed by a fool crush the doer.” -Buddha
“Your calling and experience return; the door of capability is open.” -Rumi
“You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.” -Psalm
A shelter. Calling. Experience. Good Things.
I am capable.
Even with my wavering heart.
You have instilled me with competence.
But a low hanging fate.
Grinding all my roughness.
To be slick and shiny as oil.
I stick now here.
Unable to remain still.
Every obstacle can be transcended by the Maker Of All.
Instill me with vigor.
Light the path ahead.
Release me from these constrictive cycles.
Unmake my flaws and failings.
Forgive my selfishness and pride.
I long for the day when true grace is the law of both Heaven and Earth.
Amen.
“Prepare a refuge for yourself. Work hard, use good judgment. Free of flaws and passions, you shall enter the highest realms.” -Buddha
“The holy ones repent - the Lord’s hand shuts the doors of the results of this causation.” -Rumi
“He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong, and casts no slur on his fellow man.” -Psalm
Lord please forgive my rash actions taken from pride and disappointment.
Please guide me to right thoughts and actions.
Thank You for the loving people You’ve surrounded me with.
Teach me Your ways.
Pride, judgment, criticism.
Caustic and useful.
Redeem this sharp mind - it tends to cut those close to me.
Redeem my inflated pride - it leads to judging others.
Redeem my rash speech - an untamed serpent.
Please put this life to good use.
Thank You for Your love and kindness.
Amen.
“Right speech, harmlessness, restraint according to the monk’s discipline. Moderation in food, at peace in remoteness and solitude, devotion to higher meditation. All this is the teaching of the Buddhas.” -Buddha
“Since, doubtless, action is a type of seeing, man’s no more than the pupil of the eye.” -Rumi
“Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill?” -Psalm
This overwhelming sadness.
I can’t hold my head up.
Chains dangling from temples.
A brick yoke.
The air is heavy.
In the blazing summer sun, we long for the storm.
In the storm, we long for the shelter of stone.
Beneath the stone, we long for the summer sun.
Oh heart, must you never be content?
Father, help me to let go of pride and the desire for esteem.
Free me from childishness and hubris.
Lead me on to righteousness.
Please constrain my thoughts to light and truth.
I love You.
Amen.
“He has controlled his hands and feet. He has controlled his speech. He is withal controlled. He delights in insight development. He is calm. He lives alone and is contented.” -Buddha
“Like crops and inhalation, sex and traps, the outcomes of these things depend on God. The holy ones have power from the Lord; they can divert the arrow in full flight.” -Rumi
“The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God.’” -Psalm
Does this path travel back to the same place?
Does it wind back to familiar points and pains?
The path changes and is unchanging.
Only the man can truly change.
Heart inside and spirit surrounding.
Do the lion and lamb rest comfortably together within you?
(a fearsome gentleness)
Father, I’m conflicted.
I’m avoiding.
I’m atrocious.
Teach me to find gentleness.
Lead me to peace.
Make me an instrument of Your will.
The world is in turmoil.
Grant us peace.
Amen.
